Every Family Has One
by Aelia Weasley
Summary: It started at Molly and Arthur's wedding anniversary party.
1. Waiting for Mummy's Favorite

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"Daddy, where did Uncle Harry go?" Rose looked up at Ron with miniature versions of Hermione's caramel eyes.

"He's upstairs on the phone, Rosie. Don't disturb him. Where's your brother?" Rose shrugged and Ron looked up to search the room. A sea of the same shade of ginger hair filled the space. He and all of his siblings had it, along with most of the children. Only his nephews Fred, James and Albus and his nieces Victoire and Roxanne had escaped the bright red Weasley trait.

"The family curse." His dad jokingly called it.

The Weasley clan had come together at Ron and Hermione's new home to celebrate the 43rd wedding anniversary of its matriarch and patriarch. The house was more than large enough for the four of them, but Ron worried it would come apart at the seams when his family got together. Counting spouses and children, they now numbered 25. Charlie and his latest conquest were due to arrive at any moment, bringing the guest tally to 26.

Time hadn't erased the pain of his brother Fred's death. Family dinners were never the same and get-togethers like this one made everyone wonder who Freddy might have married and how many more little ginger kids there might be.

For quite a long time, Mrs. Weasley couldn't call her grandson by his name. She affectionately called him "the baby". The first time she actually called him Fred, everyone who overheard it jumped as if they had been doused with ice water.

Rose ran off to join her cousins in the living room. George, Bill, Percy and Arthur were half-watching the kids and half discussing a new Muggle instrument Arthur had been toying with - a computer. Still searching for Hugo, who liked to hide himself in smaller and smaller places just to see if he could, Ron ducked into the kitchen. He found his mum, Hermione, Ginny and his three sisters-in-law were all laughing and sipping glasses of wine as they prepared dinner.

Hermione had been up extra early to dress the two enormous turkeys and get them into the ovens. Ron didn't know exactly what else was on the menu, but he was willing to duel with any of his family members in order to get himself a drumstick or two.

The scent of the different dishes blended delightfully in his nostrils, making his stomach growl. He also completely forgot why he'd gone in there in the first place.

"Ron, what time is Charlie due?" Hermione asked him.

Ron checked his watch, "15 minutes ago."

Hermione pulled a worried face but Ron shook his head. "If _Percy_ is ever 15 minutes late for anything, we'll send out a search party. Charlie will get here when he gets here." He winked at Audrey who nodded. She appreciated Ron's slight crack at her husbands' anal retentive tendencies.

"What was that? Charlie's arrived?" Mrs. Weasley looked up from the stove, excited.

"No, Mum. Not just yet." Ginny said smiling and shaking her head. She and Ron shared a look that meant "Mummy's favorite". It wasn't exactly true. Their mum treated all of them the same; but because Charlie came home so rarely, on this night it was a little bit true.

It was then that the noises came. Just over their heads, lots of banging and stomping feet from above in the master bedroom.

"I've already told them _three_ times to keep out. I can't believe they've disobeyed again." Ginny fumed.

Louis, Fred and James were quite the trio of troublemakers. Ginny often thanked her lucky stars that Albus wasn't cut from the same cloth as her elder son. Albus had a bit of her wild spirit, but it didn't hold a candle to James' propensity for trouble.

"Harry! Bill! George! Your sons are at it _again_!" She hollered into the next room.

"Harry got a phone call, I'll go." Ron said. Before leaving the kitchen he put on his sternest "dad face" in preparation for scolding his nephews. The banging noises continued and got louder as Ron tapped George and Bill on the shoulders and gestured up with his thumb. His elder brothers shared knowing looks before clomping up the stairs behind Ron.

None of them saw James, Fred and Louis hiding in the linen cupboard under the stairs. Hugo had wedged himself up onto a shelf and was stuck. The three older boys were trying to figure out how to get him down and how not to get the blame for the littlest Weasley's predicament.

Just at the door of his bedroom, Ron paused and turned to his brothers.

"Wands or no wands?" he asked reaching into his pocket.

George scoffed. "Ron, you're an Auror. You really think the three of us need our wands to wrangle three harmless kids? Open the door, we'll cuff 'em around their heads and get them back downstairs, sorted."

"Harmless? They're _harmless_, are they? Tell you what Georgie. Next time those harmless little scamps get their buggery hands on some firecrackers and blow up a toilet, you're cleaning it." Bill said. The memory of just that happening at Shell Cottage at Victoire's birthday party was still fresh in his mind.

"Yeah..." George said remembering. "Quite a mess, that."

Their wands drawn, Ron swung the door open. They hollered all at once.

"Merlin's bloody beard!" Bill said.

"Oi! My eyes!" George yelled.

"Charlie! What the sodding fuck?!" Ron exclaimed.

The three of them hid their eyes but they'd already seen it. And what is seen, can never be unseen.

The second oldest Weasley brother was kneeling on Ron's bed in nature's own giving a right good "how's your father?" to a voluptuous witch with dark brown hair. There were piles of shed clothing strewn everywhere.

"Cheers, lads. Give us a minute." Charlie laughingly said waving his siblings out. Ron pulled the door shut, shuddering.

"Memory spell?" George joked holding his wand up to his temple.

"Not on, mate. Not on." Bill said, shaking his head.

"I can't believe-on my fucking bed!" Ron yelled, he still had his hand on the doorknob.

Charlie pulled the door open and grabbed his siblings by their shirts, pulling them inside. "It's so good to see you three!" he laughed.

_At least he's wearing pants this time._ Ron thought, relieved. He might not have felt so relieved if he realized that Charlie's pants had been inside-out on his pillow only moments before.

"Jess, these are my brothers. Well, three of them, anyway. Mates, this is Jessica." He gestured over to the witch who was pulling on a pair of white and pink knickers. She smiled graciously as she secured a matching bra, covering her ample assets. She gave them a casual, friendly wave before approaching them.

Ron, Bill and George gawked.

"It's so nice to meet you! Charlie talks about you all the time!" She hugged each of them and planted a kiss on their cheeks. None of them had the presence of mind to pull away thinking of where else her mouth might have been just before they got upstairs.

"What's going on in here? Jamie you're in for it-OH! Oh dear sweet sodding Merlin." Harry's eyes widened as he stood behind his brothers-in-law and gaped at Jessica's long, lean and nearly naked body.

"There he is! Harry!" Charlie yanked Harry past Ron by the arm. "Jess, this is Harry Potter. Harry, this is Jessica."

"Erm- hello." Harry said, trying not to stare at anything that would make Ginny hex his eyes out if she knew.

"Charlie, I thought you were joking! You really do know Harry Potter!" She said, genuinely excited. She laughed and gave Harry a hug.

"Yeah, I told you so! Harry married our baby sister. But he was family long before that. He's like a...shorter...speckier...dark-haired brother." Charlie said, winking at Harry.

Completely unfazed by all of the eyes on them, Charlie and Jessica dressed. Ron was relieved that she wasn't wearing a low-cut top or a too-short skirt. He'd met quite a few of Charlie's girls and he knew how his mum would react if Jessica wasn't dressed more modestly. As she adjusted her top, Ron got a look at her face. She wasn't a conventional beauty like Charlie normally brought home. She had large light-brown eyes and curly brown hair...a lot like...

_She looks like Hermione._ He realized. He shot a sideways glance at Harry and instantly knew Harry had also noticed the resemblance. Ron's brain shifted into overdrive - did Charlie have designs on Hermione?

"Well, let's not keep Mum waiting!" Bill said, trying desperately to get back down the stairs. Everyone started to follow him out onto the landing.

"Oh, just a tick!" Charlie said, turning back to the bedroom. He waved his wand and the disarray cleaned itself up in a flash.

"Still might want to change the sheets, Ron." George said with a hardy laugh.

"Oh, sod off!" Ron said back.

As everyone else noticed Charlie they came running one by one to greet him. A large mountain of a man, Charlie scooped Dominique, Rose and Roxanne up off the floor at once. Mrs. Weasley ran into Charlie's arms and started to cry as they all expected she'd do. Even Mr. Weasley wiped a tear from his tired eyes when he gave Charlie a big bear hug.

He introduced Jessica around and everyone nodded approvingly at each other.

Ron tapped Harry on the shoulder. "Where are the boys?" Harry shrugged.

"Before I got that call, they were sitting right there." Harry gestured to a empty sofa.

"Yeah, who was on the phone, by the way?" Ron asked.

Harry exhaled. "Dudley."

Ron looked surprised. "Your cousin, Dudley?"

"I don't hardly know more than one."

"Fair enough. What did he want? I didn't know you were in touch." Ron asked.

"We get together here and there. He's met Ginny and the kids. He's married, four of his own now."

"Four? Blimey." Ron's eyes bugged out. "What did he want? Just a chat?"

"No." Harry said grimly. "Petunia. My...mum's sister. She's dying, some kind of cancer or something."

Ron put a sympathetic hand on Harry's shoulder. "Oh, I'm sorry, mate. She wasn't exactly nice to you but that's still too bad I guess."

"Yeah. She's...asked to see me."


	2. The Cupboard Calamity

The absence of the four boys went unnoticed with the excitement from Charlie's arrival. Harry heard James' voice coming from the cupboard under the stairs.

At first it gave him a shiver, but Harry smiled. His son, a carbon-copy of himself was living a completely different childhood than Harry had. James was truly loved and surrounded by others who were just like him. He would never feel like an outcast or burden on anyone. Harry's mind started to fill with the worst memories of living with his Aunt and Uncle but then he quickly remembered his conversation with Dudley.

"She wants to see you, Harry. Says she has something to talk to you about. Will you come?" Dudley's voice sounded nervous and sad.

When Vernon Dursley dropped dead of a massive heart attack just after Dudley's 30th birthday, it deflated him. He knew his father had faults; the way he treated Harry from infancy for one. But this giant tour-de-force of a man that Dudley feared, loved and admired seemed invincible, immortal. It never occurred to Dudley that one day; he could just collapse and be gone from his life forever.

He and Harry had kept in touch over the years and Harry had even brought his family to Dudley's home for several Sunday dinners. His Uncle barely acknowledged Harry. James and Albus took an immediate dislike to the rotund man with the walrus mustache. Aunt Petunia was her own sneering brand of cordial to Ginny and the children who had the good sense to be on their best behavior around their Muggle relations. The first time they got together after Lily was born however; Harry thought he saw his Aunt smile and even coo at the sleeping bundle in Ginny's arms.

The doctors warned Dudley that his father's excessive eating and lack of exercise were the main factors in his death and if Dudley didn't take care, he could suffer the same fate. It was the kick-in-the-trousers that Dudley needed. He lost so much weight so quickly, his wife Christina could hardly keep up. She'd tried taking his clothes in herself but gave up when Dudley shed 30 pounds within a single month.

Friends from Smeltings would never recognize this fit man as the Dudley Dursley they knew. Harry even commented that his former classmates could hardly call him "Big D" anymore.

The yelping and clattering coming from the cupboard broke Harry's reverie. He looked over his shoulder and everyone else was still gathered around Charlie and Jessica so he snuck over to the cupboard and pressed his ear to it.

"Give us a hand, Jamie!" Louis said.

"I can't! I'm look-out!"

"The door is closed, mate. Not a lot of looking out to do, is there?" Fred joked.

"Get me doooooown!" Hugo wailed.

Harry rapped his knuckles on the door and the voices fell silent.

"Boys, what is going on in there?"

"Nothing, Uncle, all is well!" Fred said.

_That's a load of bollocks, but good try._ Harry thought.

"Uncle Haaaaaaarry! Heeeeelp!" Hugo cried.

Harry tried to enter the cupboard, but the knob wouldn't turn. Still trying not to alert everyone else, Harry pointed his wand and whispered, "Alohomora". It didn't work.

He looked at the doorknob, discovering it was not the kind to lock at all. Something else was keeping the door shut tight.

"Jamie, why won't the door open?" He asked.

"I didn't do it!"

"Jamie, answer me."

"Well, Uncle Harry…" Louis began, clearly searching for the right words.

"Fred Arthur Weasley, what have you gone and done now?" Angelina was standing behind Harry.

"James Sirius, open that bloody door!" Ginny said.

Fleur's eyes hardened on the closed door and she began shouting at Louis in rapid French.

Hearing the commotion, Hermione had entered the living room and immediately knew. She shot Ron an irritated look, and exhaled, tossing her hair back before waving her wand casually.

_"Oppendium"_

The door flew open immediately and the three boys tumbled out in a pile. One by one they were grabbed up off the floor by their shirt collars and reprimanded by their mothers.

"Every time you three are in the same house, there's a calamity." Ginny glared at James.

"Honestly, Fred. Go sit on that chair and Merlin help you if you move before I say so." Angelina said.

No one knew what Fleur said to Louis, but the shade of green his complexion took on after she finished talking was enough.

Hermione entered the cupboard and found Hugo wedged into the very top shelf. He'd pushed the linens to the floor to make room for himself, but he was hopelessly stuck on something.

"Mummy am I in t-trouble too?" He sniffled. His eyes, the same bright shade of blue as Ron's filled with tears.

"Ron, he's in here again, I can't reach him." She called, sighing. Ron followed her voice and gave a sympathetic sigh seeing his small son's red face.

"Daddy, I'm s-sorry…" Hugo cried.

"It's ok. Give me a minute." Ron said soothingly. He took hold of Hugo under his arms and gave a small tug. The boy came free but his trainers stayed stuck to the wall. Hugo relaxed his head into Ron's shoulder and Ron rubbed his back.

"Mummy has told you not to go in there. You need to mind what we tell you, Hugo." Ron said rocking his upper body.

"I'm s-sorry! The door was open." Ron turned red.

Mrs. Weasley approached and held her arms out. "Here, my darling boy. Come give Gran a squeeze, she'll sort it all out." Hugo looked at Molly and reached out to her. He wrapped his arms around her neck as she took him.

George and Harry eyed Hermione, who still had an irritated look on her face as she looked at Ron.

"So, why wouldn't it open?" George asked, examining the inside of the door.

Ron sighed. "He hides. He climbs. It scared us half to death the first time he hid in there. Hermione put a brilliant spell on it that it couldn't be opened by anyone but her or me."

Hermione interjected, "And since _Ronald_ never remembers to actually close the cupboard door after he's been in there, that charm was basically a waste of energy."

Again, Ron turned red. He'd been the last one in there today. He fetched the tablecloths and napkins when Hermione asked him to help set the table.

"Ok, but what happened to his shoes?" Harry said pointing. Hugo's tiny trainers were stuck to the back wall of the cupboard.

"That was my idea. He…he fell off the shelf once. I thought if there was a sticking charm on the wall, he might get stuck, but at least he wouldn't crack his head open falling down again." Ron answered. "Accio trainers." Ron said with a flick of his wand. Hugo's shoes popped free and he handed them to his mother, who secured them back on Hugo's feet.

The drama of the cupboard over, the enormous family sat together in the dining room. There was plenty of elbow room thanks to Mr. Weasley's enlargement charm on the table.

A true feast fit for such an occasion, the menu consisted of roasted turkey (Ron managed to get two drumsticks, a rarity), roasted vegetables with Lancashire cheese, ginger carrots, creamed spinach, roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts with bacon and chestnuts, goat cheese and new potato tart, small steak and kidney pies, rare beef Wellington (just for Bill) and a mixed salad.

Even Hermione and Fleur, the most petite adults at the table took a little bit of everything.

The desserts still in the kitchen, waiting to be enjoyed were gooseberry pie, a large Yorkshire pudding and blackberry & clotted cream shortcake.

Ginny clinked her spoon against her wine glass and stood, nodding to her brothers. "A toast: to Mum and Dad. You put up with the lot of us growing up; you showed us how to make everything out of very, very little."

Ron stood, "You taught us how to judge a person by who they are and not what they own."

George stood, "You gave us your support when we needed it most. And we learned the importance of family."

"You loved us, even when we made it very difficult." Percy said.

"Even though it wasn't easy for you, you let us follow our dreams." Charlie grinned.

"Beyond all that, you are the role models we can only hope to be for our kids." Bill added.

Arthur's chest puffed out with pride. He put his arm around Molly's shoulders and she wept into her napkin.

"If I may add something," Harry said, looking up at his brothers-in-law and Ginny. They each nodded their consent with earnest agreement. Harry considered his words carefully, fumbling with his own wine glass. "You were unconditionally kind to the awkward boy standing by himself at King's Cross. You didn't just show me how to get onto the platform that day. You showed me acceptance for the first time in my life. I'm very…very proud to consider you the parents I never had."

There were more than a few sniffles going around the table. Hermione and Angelina wiped streams of tears away on their napkins.

"To _Grand-mere et Grand-pere_!" Victoire said merrily and they all shouted a resounding "Cheers!" before the tinkling of glasses echoed off of the walls.

Jessica was a resounding hit with the eldest Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. She was sweet and charming, funny and very smart. George caught Ron's eye and wiggled his eyebrows at him when she was talking and Ron nearly had pumpkin juice spray from his nose. Bill and Harry saw it happen and they chuckled to themselves. If Mrs. Weasley knew what had been going on in the master bedroom, they could only guess what she'd have to say about it.

Conversation broke into little groups as tends to happen with such a large number of people sitting at the same table. Ron turned to Hermione.

"I'm sorry I forgot to shut the door again. That was my fault." He said.

She smiled. "Just try to remember next time. I think I have to change that charm on the door. It didn't occur to me that someone could actually get locked in the cupboard if the door shut behind them." She puzzled as she popped a slice of roasted potato into her mouth.

"Think of it this way, if they were locked in the cupboard, they couldn't be upstairs, breaking things. I think you should leave it the way it is and we'll just lock them in there when they come over." He joked, taking a bite off the drumstick.

She knit her eyebrows together. "That's right…if they were locked in the cupboard…what were those noises coming from?"

The tips of Ron's ears blushed. He casually nodded over at Charlie. She questioned him with her eyes. He gave her a look that meant "Think about who we're talking about."

"Oh you must be joking!" she said a little too loud. This time it was George's turn to almost spit out his pumpkin juice. Bill kicked him under the table.

"Not on our bed?" Hermione whispered. Ron grimaced and nodded.

"Well, just wait until we visit him in Romania. Two can play at that game." She said, taking a large sip of wine.


	3. There Are No Dragons in Devon

They relaxed after dinner in the parlor, digesting before dessert. Victoire was every bit her mother's daughter, fussing over Dominique and Molly's hair- playing at being more grown up than they were. Fred, Louis and James were whispering suspiciously and Lucy, Rose and Albus were playing a quiet game of cards. While Ron began what was surely going to be a quick victory against him at wizard chess, Harry told Ginny and the rest of the family about the phone call from Dudley.

"Your aunt's asked to see you? What the fuck does that old bitch want?" Ginny said. She was bouncing 4 year old Lily on her lap.

"_LANGUAGE_ Ginevra!" Mrs. Weasley shouted covering Hugo's ears with her hands. Ginny had long since retired from professional sport, but the way she talked sometimes made it seem like she were still in the locker room.

"Sorry, Mum. Don't say those words, kids." Ginny said looking around the room with a wink. James and Louis exchanged looks and smirked.

Harry shrugged at her original question. "I don't know. Dudley says she hasn't got long. I should go, shouldn't I?"

His question was met by conflicted faces. No one seemed to want to give their opinion.

"I don't see how it could hurt, Harry." Angelina finally said.

"She might want to apologize or something." Audrey offered.

"I wouldn't if I were you." Ron said.

Percy shot him a reproachful look. "Of course he should go - she's his family."

"Perce, you weren't there when we literally had to yank bars off his windows to get him out of the house. They treated him dead rotten." George answered for Ron.

"Let's not talk about all this unpleasantness in front of the children." Mr. Weasley said.

"Quite right, quite right." Percy said, trying to sound as if it were his idea.

"Charlie, tomorrow I thought we could take a look at that flat that opened up in the village," Mrs. Weasley said, changing the subject not very subtlely. "I think you'll really love it..."

Ron and Ginny looked at each other and playfully rolled their eyes.

"Mum," Charlie said gently "there are no dragons in Devon."

"But look at everything you're missing! You have all these nieces and nephews! The children don't know you! And who knows how much longer your father and I will be alive..."

_Good old Mum, laying the guilt on nice and thick._ Ron thought.

"Gran, I know Uncle Charlie..." Rose said innocently.

"Yeah, Uncle Charlie gives us sweets!" Lucy said, smiling a toothy grin.

"And firecrackers!" James said - and immediately turned red. Louis and Fred sunk down low in their chairs like they were trying to camouflage themselves.

"It was you?! You gave them the firecrackers?! They blew up my damn toilet, Charlie!" Bill said, angrily.

Charlie shrugged. "That's why I'll always be their favorite Uncle - I give them the stuff you won't let them have." He smilled at Bill.

"Yeah, well there's a reason we don't let them have those! The damage in our upstairs loo is the prime example." Bill said, still glaring at Charlie.

"Aw, come on Billy - in just a couple more years, they'll all have wands and they won't need firecrackers to blow shit up. Just laugh, it's not so terrible." George joked.

Fred sat up straighter in his chair. He was almost 11 and couldn't wait to get his hands on a wand when his Hogwarts letter came. He and Molly would both be joining Victoire and Dominique at Hogwarts in the fall.

"I don't remember you laughing when Fred hid all your pants in the freezer while we were sleeping." Angelina reminded him holding back a laugh.

"Well, I had to get to the shop to open up - it was a choice between not wearing pants at all or having my bollocks frozen off..." George said.

Louis caught Fred's eye, "Good one." He whispered. James nodded in agreement.

"Jessica, you're English - don't you wish you could move back home and be nearer to your family?" Mrs. Weasley asked hopefully.

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. He put a hand on Jessica's in a consoling way. "She doesn't know, Jess. I'm sorry..." Charlie said to her.

Jessica smiled slightly, "It's fine, Charlie. I don't have a family, Mrs. Weasley."

Everyone looked at each other, then inevitably their eyes wandered to Harry.

Hermione had just pulled the Yorkshire pudding out of the oven, to her great relief, it hadn't fallen. She and Fleur reset the table for dessert and entered the living room in the middle of the awkward conversation that followed Jessica's revelation.

"I'm so terribly sorry, dear!" Mrs. Weasley was saying. Jessica smiled graciously.

"It's really fine, Mrs. Weasley. Don't trouble yourself over it." She said. Moments of silence ticked by, terribly slowly.

"So maybe we should have been talking about Harry's twat of an Aunt after all." George joked.

_"George!"_ Mrs. Weasley and Angelina yelled at him in identical outrage.

Calling them in for dessert, Hermione nodded to Harry in way that meant "Come talk to me." He nodded back, understanding her body language. He followed her into the mud room - although in truth, it was ill-titled for Hermione would never allow mud to exist in her home.

"Are you going to go visit your aunt?" she asked him gently.

"I don't know. I supposed I will, I mean...I might regret not going in the long run." He looked down at his feet.

"Do you want me to come with you? Can we do anything to help?" She put her hand reassuringly on his arm and he smiled.

"I don't think so, but thanks very much." He shook his head, smiling.

She puzzled at him. "Well, if you change your mind..."

"Thanks, Hermione. Really, I'll be ok." They hugged quickly and joined everyone else back in the dining room.

Although they had each declared themselves unable to eat another morsel, everyone enjoyed a bit of dessert and tea or coffee and soon it was time to say goodnight. They would be seeing each other a lot over the next few days, they always did during Charlie's visits.

Harry and Ginny had already planned on spending the night with their three, but Louis and Fred begged to be allowed to stay as well.

"Mum! Can I stay over too?" Fred begged.

"Freddy, we're all going to be together tomorrow anyway. Let's just go home." Angelina said.

"Yeah but, Jamie's sleeping here!" Fred said.

"Mum, may I stay too?" Louis asked using his most polite voice. Fleur looked at Bill, who shrugged.

_No fucking way._ Ron thought. _Come on, girls, don't let me down._

He was confident that his sisters-in-law would refuse but then much to his chagrin, Angelina said:

"Ask Aunt Hermione."

The two boys stared at Hermione with hopeful, pleading eyes. She was no match for them.

"I suppose it'd be all right. You can sleep down here in the living room." She said.

_Great. Triple Trouble spending the night. So much for the new house. _Ron thought. _So much for sleeping soundly, so much for the shag I was hoping for._

As his siblings and their spouses queued up at the fireplace, Ron ran upstairs and quickly changed the sheets on his bed. He didn't want to forget and lay his head down on a pillow that smelled like Charlie's bollocks.

"Don't forget what I told you about Aunt Ginny's Bat Bogey hex, Fred. She won't hesitate." George said with a wink.

"If you cause even a second of trouble, I'll let Uncle Ron string you up by your toes, Fred." Angelina warned as they were leaving.

"Louis, remember what I've already said." Fleur cautioned, helping Dominique with her coat. Louis blanched and nodded.

"Are you sure about this?" Bill asked Ron. "I don't think there's any way in hell I'd let them spend the night in my house." He laughed.

Ron shrugged. "Hermione already said yes. I reckon they'll be ok tonight. There's four of us here to wrangle them."

"Well, if Louis gives you any trouble, Floo us, we'll come grab him."

"Maybe I should learn French," Ron mused. "Whatever Fleur said, it sounded scary."

Bill nodded. "She yells at me in French and I almost wet myself. She might be part-Veela, but she's all business when she's roused."

"We all like strong women in this family, don't we?" Ron said, smiling.

"Arthur! The children need to get to bed! You can tell Charlie more about this interweb when we get home. Let's go!" Mrs. Weasley yelled into the kitchen.

Bill chuckled, "I wonder why."

Ginny and Harry took Hugo and Lily upstairs to bed; Rose and Albus both had sleep swirling in their eyes but they were fighting it. Only _babies_ fell asleep early, neither of them were willing to be counted in that category with their younger siblings. Fred, Louis and James sat very close together on the sofa, watching a program on the telly.

Percy, Audrey and the girls stepped into the fireplace and they all looked likely to fall asleep as soon as they got home. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Charlie and Jessica were all returning to the Burrow. Charlie was excited to show her where he grew up.

"You have a lovely home." Jessica said before they left. "Dinner was delicious, thanks so much for having me."

Hermione gave her a hug. "It was nice to meet you at last. We'll see you tomorrow."

Bill and Fleur said goodnight (Fleur glared a final warning to Louis) and they departed for Shell Cottage.

"Remember," Angelina said "the first bit of trouble and we'll come get him."

"Angie - come on, love. Roxie's going to pass out and I've got plans for you, Mrs. Weasley..." George said, pulling her towards the fireplace.

She rolled her eyes and kissed Ron and Hermione's cheeks before disappearing into the green flames.

"I had plans, too Hermione." Ron said, taking her around her waist and kissing her softly.

"I know you did. I'm sorry - maybe they'll behave." She said hopefully.

_Yeah, and maybe a hippogriff will fly out of my arse._ He thought. "Locking them in the linen cupboard is sounding better by the minute, isn't it?"

She giggled and turned to the boys. She knew they didn't maliciously do things, they were just kids.

"Anyone want some hot chocolate?" She asked them. They all happily nodded and Ron found himself nodding, too.

"Hermione?" Ginny called from the stairs. "Hugo's asking for you. I think he wants a bedtime story from Mummy." She smiled.

"I'll make the hot chocolate, you go ahead." Ron said, kissing her softly. "Ginny, do you want some hot chocolate?" he asked.

"Sounds good, Harry probably will, too. He's in the loo. I'll help you." She said.

Hermione went into Hugo's room finding him and Lily already in his bed, each cuddling a plush toy. It was simply adorable how well they got on. Only a year apart, the youngest of the bunch never rowed.

"Mummy, can you read us a story?" Hugo asked, sleepily.

"Of course, darling." Hermione replied.

She puzzled at all the books in Hugo's room. She could tell they would be fast asleep before she finished a whole story, so she picked up a book of nursery rhymes that was once her own. Hugo liked to fall asleep hearing the sound of her voice, more than the actual story she was reading.

She read a few pages of nursery rhymes and watched Hugo's eyelids flutter until he was asleep. Lily was a tougher customer. She liked princess stories but she looked tired enough that Hermione kept reading.

"Listen, this is a difficult rhyme, I swear - what is a rhyme for porringer?' She read.

"Bloody nothing." Ron said quietly from the door. Hermione smiled and winked at him. Ron snuck in on tip toes and put his hands on her shoulders, massaging.

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. along came a spider and -OW, Ron!" She yelped. He squeezed her shoulders really hard at the mention of the spider.

"Why are you reading them scary stories?" He asked her.

She pursed her lips together and began again. "Along came a...butterfly, who was perfectly nice and Miss Muffett happily shared her lunch. The End." Hermione said, teasing him. "That better?" She asked closing the book.

"Yep." He said taking the book from her an putting it back on the shelf. "Hot chocolate's ready, come on."

Hermione leaned over and kissed Hugo and Lily before she followed Ron out of the room and closed the door.


	4. The Search Begins

By the time Hermione got back downstairs, Rose and Albus had fallen asleep in her playhouse. She waved Harry over and they peaked in on them. They had piled a bunch of blankets on the floor of the playhouse and fell asleep. Rose and Albus shared a special bond from birth. When they were tiny, they had their own language that only they could understand. They were only a few hours apart, both born prematurely. Mr. Weasley remarked that they just couldn't wait to meet each other.

"That is just too sweet." Hermione said looking at the children.

"I'm so glad they have each other. Truly, Hermione. They all have each other." Harry said looking across the room at the boys.

"You have us, Harry. Don't forget that." Hermione said linking her arm with his to pull him into the kitchen.

"I'm going to go see my Aunt." Harry said decisively. "Will you and Ron come with me? I'd just feel better if you were there."

"You don't even need to ask, Harry. 'The Golden Trio' sticks together." She said with a wink.

Harry smirked. The Daily Prophet nicknamed them that and it always made him roll his eyes but Hermione was right, they were always stronger together.

Ron had finished making the hot chocolate and Ginny was adding marshmallows. Hermione put three mugs on a tray and started to carry them out to the boys.

"Hermione, wait!" Ginny said urgently. She hurried over to her carrying a mug in her hand. She swapped it for one on the tray and winked at Hermione.

"What's that all about?" Hermione asked her.

Ginny took a sip from the mug she'd removed from the tray and showed Hermione the bottle of brandy in her hand.

"I want them to sleep but they're too young for this." She joked and added a touch more brandy to the mug.

"Here you are, loves." Hermione said as she lowered the tray so the boys could reach.

"Thanks, Aunt Hermione!" They each said. A scream erupted from the television and James jumped spilling some of his hot chocolate in his lap.

Hermione turned with concern to look at the screen.

"What are you watching?" She asked them. She watched the tall masked killer smashing his powerful arms through the walls as the screaming girl hid from him. She'd seen this film before.

"It's scary!" James said with glee.

"I've seen scarier!" Louis said.

"You're going to have nightmares." She warned.

"Mum said we could watch!" James said. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Is that true, Jamie?"

James opened his eyes wide and nodded. Hermione narrowed her stare and James sighed and shook his head. "No. But we're not scared!"

"You can watch until you finish your hot chocolate but then it's time for bed, understand?

They nodded, each vowing to drink slowly.

"You're the best, Aunt Hermione!" Louis said, James and Fred nodded their agreement.

Hermione winked and went back to the kitchen.

Harry, Ginny and Ron were sitting on the stools around the butcher block island, sipping hot chocolate and laughing quietly.

"Triple Trouble getting sleepy yet?" Ron asked. She positioned herself in between his legs with her back against his chest. He kissed her neck and put his arm around her, hooking his thumb in her belt loop.

"Getting ready for number three?" Ginny teased. Ron froze and looked up from his wife's neck at his sister.

"Um…no." Ron said. "We're all set with two. Don't tell me you're thinking about a fourth…"

Ginny and Harry exchanged a look. "We're not actively preventing it, if that's what you mean." Harry said.

"That would be incredible!" Hermione said. "Not for us though. Two is great for us." She turned her head and kissed Ron. She tasted the chocolate and brandy on his lips. He dipped his tongue into her mouth and she ran her fingers through his hair.

Hermione turned back to Harry and Ginny. They were intensely looking into each other's eyes and Ginny was biting her lower lip. Hermione took a long sip of her hot chocolate. The drink itself and the brandy made her feel warm all over.

The little girl's scream from the living room broke up adult time.

"Rose?!" Ron yelled, rushing into the living room. Rose had her face buried in a sofa pillow. James, Fred and Louis all looked very guilty. He scooped her up in his arms and rubbed her back.

"What did you do?" Ginny said looking at James sternly.

"Rosie? Daddy where's Rosie?" Albus was rubbing his eyes as he stepped out of the playhouse.

"I don't like that clown!" Rose cried in Ron's arms. Hermione glared at the boys.

"You let her watch the movie?" She asked. James nodded.

"What movie?" Ginny asked and looked at the screen. "You let Rose watch this rubbish? James Sirius Potter…"

"She woke up and came over here, we didn't know she'd be too scared!" Fred said.

"I let them watch it, Gin. It's my fault. Switch it off, Louis." Hermione said. He changed the channel.

Ron got Rose to calm down and she sniffled. He knelt down and she put her feet on the floor. James stood up and gave Rose a hug.

"I'm sorry, Rosie. Don't be scared. It's not real, ok? It's all make believe." He smiled Harry's smile at her and she nodded.

"Yeah, Rosie, it's all fake. Besides, you don't think we'd let anything happen to you, do you?" Louis said from the sofa.

"Right! We're here to keep you safe when the killer breaks in the door and – OW! What'd you pinch me for, Louis?!" Fred said.

"Ok, I'd say it's about time for you all to be in bed, eh?" Harry said. Albus was almost sleeping on his shoulder.

"Come on, Rosie Posey." Hermione said extending her hand.

Harry and Hermione got Rose and Albus changed into pyjamas and into bed. Albus fell asleep almost instantly.

"Uncle Harry? Can you leave my light on?" Rose asked quietly.

"Of course, darling." He said with a wink. He turned and flicked his wand at Rose's moon-shaped nightlight. He kissed his fingertips and waved good night to Rose before heading downstairs.

"Mummy? Where's Jackie-dog?" Rose asked. Hermione puzzled a second, looking for Rose's toy. Ron had given it to her before he left on a Mission when she was three and she hadn't slept a single night without it. Hermione knelt and peaked under the bed and saw the stuffed Jack Russell terrier. She pulled it out and handed it to Rose.

"Thank you." Rose said sleepily "Mummy, what if the clown comes back?"

Hermione took Rose's hand and kissed it. "Rosie that was all make-believe, darling. You shouldn't have been watching it." Rose nodded but clearly wasn't convinced.

"But…what if, Mummy?"

"Rosie, my love, what did Daddy tell you about Jackie-dog?" She lovingly stroked Rose's bright red hair.

"That he'd keep me safe when Daddy's not here."

Hermione smiled. "Right. So you have Jackie-dog and Daddy is here. There's no safer place in the whole wide world."

"And Uncle Harry…and Aunt Ginny and you, Mummy." Rose yawned and closed her eyes, squeezing her toy.

"Have sweet dreams." Hermione whispered before she closed the door behind her.

Ron, Harry and Ginny were helping the boys spread out the sofa cushions and blankets on the floor. Ron used his wand to hang a large blanket over the sleeping area like a tent. Hermione took the three empty mugs and brought them into the kitchen. Rinsing them quickly in the sink she left them for the morning.

"You three behave tonight." Ginny said, wobbling a little. The effects of the extra brandy in her hot chocolate was taking its toll.

"We will, Mum!" James said with a smile. Louis and Fred smiled innocently.

Ginny waved James over to her. She put her hands on her knees and looked him in the eyes. "I love you, Jamie."

"Love you too, Mum." She hugged him and ruffled his hair.

"We'll be just upstairs if you need anything, guys. Goodnight." Ron said waving to the boys.

The adults headed upstairs and turned the lights out.

"You know where the towels are, right Gin?" Ron asked, gesturing towards the cupboard outside the loo.

"Yeah, thanks." She said. Harry switched the light on in the guest bedroom and pulled Ginny in with an arm around her waist.

"Good night!" Harry waved his free hand before shutting the door behind them.

Hermione smiled and looked at Ron, who was grimacing.

"Oh, get over it already, Ron!" she laughed. "They're married - they have three kids, you know..."

He turned and went into the master bedroom. He flopped face down on the bed and felt the cool, smooth fabric of the bedclothes against his skin.

"I'm bloody knackered." He said softly.

"Not too knackered, I hope." She replied. She tossed her shirt onto the bed before stepping into the loo.

James, Louis and Fred all lay next to each other. They turned the television back on but nothing was holding their attention.

"So, where d'you reckon Uncle Ron keeps his lifetime supply of Chocolate Frogs?" Fred said after a silence.

"Uncle Ron doesn't have a lifetime supply of Chocolate Frogs..." Louis said.

"Sure he does, my dad does." James offered. "When they put you on the Chocolate Frog cards, you get a lifetime supply. My dad has this wooden box in his study, it's always full of them."

"So somewhere in this house is two lifetime supplies?" Louis concluded.

"Must be. Aunt Hermione is on a card, too." Fred said.

"We know there aren't any in the cupboard under the stairs;" James said "how about the pantry?"

And thus began the search. James and Louis checked the pantry and all the cupboards they could reach in the kitchen. Fred climbed up on the counter and checked the cupboards out of reach. They stood in the kitchen and pondered.

"They wouldn't be in the loo..." Louis said, pointing at the bathroom door.

They came to the same conclusion at about the same time. They had to be upstairs in their Aunt and Uncle's study.

"Follow me and shhh..." Fred said, beginning to sneak up the stairs. James and Louis followed.

"Wait!" James whispered and ran back to the kitchen. He returned moments later holding the small torch he saw in a drawer in the kitchen.

"Good thinking, Jamie." Louis said. James handed the torch to Fred who continued to lead them up the stairs.

"Which door is it?" Fred asked when they made it silently to the second floor.

"That one, maybe?" James said pointing.

A sudden banging noise on the first floor made Fred stop as he reached for the doorknob.

"What was that?" He said with wide eyes, turning to his cousins.

Louis shrugged and James looked back down the stairs. "It came from the kitchen, I reckon." he said.

A second bang echoed louder. The three boys scrambled back down the stairs and huddled around the doorway leading to the kitchen. Fred shone the torch into the room and it gleamed off the perfectly polished hardwood floor. A third bang was clearly coming from the back door. Fred concentrated the torch light on the door and they heard a plaintive meow coming from the other side of the cat flap Ron had installed.

They sighed with relief. "Oh, it's just Skimble!" Louis said.

"Bloody cat." Fred said.

James approached the cat flap cautiously and flipped the lock open. Victoire and Dominique had dreadful allergies to cats so Hermione locked him out whenever they visited. Skimbleshanks meowed his thanks and indifference (as only a cat can) to James as he crept inside and trotted to his bed next to the piano in the living room.

When Hermione's cat Crookshanks fell asleep and didn't wake up, she cried for days. Rose was just a toddler and Ron was hours away from leaving for a mission to Wales. He left to buy her some flowers. He took a shortcut back to their flat by some railroad tracks and passed a wet cardboard box. He knocked it a little when he stepped over it and it meowed pathetically. Ron squatted down next to it and lifted the wet cardboard revealing an equally wet, tiny grey kitten. It didn't have Crookshanks squashed face or bright yellow eyes but Ron felt compelled to bring him home to Hermione.

He wrapped the kitten in his coat and walked home carefully. When he presented Hermione with the flowers and crying furball she clapped her hands to her mouth. When Ron told her where he'd found the kitten, Hermione picked him up and nuzzled his nose with her own.

"A railway cat, eh? Well I'll just have to call you Skimbleshanks then, won't I?" She kissed Ron lovingly and took the kitten to the kitchen sink where she gave him a bath. Hermione dried his fur with a tea towel and let him loose on the floor. She cuddled into Ron's chest and watched the new member of their family explore their flat. Ron cringed when the kitten immediately began dragging his nails into the berber carpet, but Hermione was so happy he pushed from his mind all thoughts of the potentially lost security deposit.

"Jamie, lock the flap so he can't get back out." Louis instructed.

They snuck back by Skimbleshanks to get the staircase and he watched them with his bright green eyes.


	5. Wrestling

**LEMON WARNING IN THIS CHAPTER**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Hermione peaked her head out of the en-suite loo. The lights in the bedroom were off, except for the lamp on Ron's nightstand. He was sitting up in bed engrossed in a magazine. She stepped further out and cleared her throat to get his attention. Ron looked up and dropped the magazine to the floor.

She was wearing a tight black lace camisole with matching knickers and a shade of red lipstick he'd never seen on her before. Ron slowly swung his legs to the floor as she approached him.

"Bloody hell…When did you buy this?" he asked her. He ran his hands up her body, feeling the lace against his callused fingers.

"You're not the only one who makes plans, Mr. Weasley." She said, pushing him gently onto his back. She straddled him as she crawled up on the bed and teased his mouth with her lips. Ron slid his hands up Hermione's thighs to her waist. When she finally pushed her lips onto his he pulled her down on top of him and rolled over.

"Mione, I've been thinking about what Harry and Ginny said before…in the kitchen." He said.

She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. This wasn't the effect she was hoping the lingerie would have.

"What?"

"You know, about another baby." He stroked her cheek with his fingers. "If that's something you still want…I mean…we can try again if you want to."

She smiled at him. "Ron, we tried. It didn't happen. It was upsetting but I'm very happy with our family the way it is."

He kissed her, "It might still happen…we'll need lots of practice."

They hadn't told anyone about their failed attempts for a third child. None of the Healers they spoke to could explain it. They were young and healthy; Hermione got pregnant with Rose within the first year of their marriage and conceived Hugo after only two months of trying. She never dreamed the one thing she would completely fail at would be something she couldn't fix with magic.

"If it's meant to be, it will be." She said and pulled his mouth to hers.

They kissed passionately and Ron cupped her breast over the camisole. She reached up under his shirt and scraped her short nails gently down his back. He slowly moved his hand down into her knickers. She lifted her hips off the mattress and moaned into his mouth. As he teased her she rocked her body against his fingers. She shifted up further and further on the bed until her head hung over the opposite side. She pushed her hands against the wall for support.

She didn't look up when Ron stopped. She kept her hands flat on the wall and panted. Ron pulled her knickers off and positioned himself between her legs, pushing the camisole up above her navel. He gently kissed her inner thigh, working his way up. When his tongue made contact Hermione moaned a little too loudly but Ron didn't stop. He pushed her thighs down on the bed and buried his tongue between her folds. She rocked her hips against his mouth and tried not to moan too loudly, her wand was too far from her reach to cast a silencing charm on the door and she sure as hell wasn't going to stop Ron to do it.

He couldn't get enough of her. Nearly 15 years together and she was still the only woman he thought about, the only one he wanted. He knew her body as well as he knew anything. He could make her come any time he wanted to. He knew exactly what to do but he always made it last as long as he could. He enjoyed how she tasted, enjoyed feeling her rock her hips and the soft rhythmic moans coming from her.

He opened his eyes and watched her body undulate; one hand on the wall and the other gripping her breast. He pushed two fingers into her and felt her clench up on them. Her moaning got deeper and he felt her getting wetter by the second. Pumping his fingers in and out he hummed against her clit. The vibration from his lips sent her over the edge after a minute.

When she started coming, he stopped licking her and lifted his head. He kept his fingers moving and watched as her stomach muscles contracted and a wave hit her, lifting her shoulders off the bed. He saw her mouth open wide as her moans came. She squeezed her thighs shut and pushed away from his fingers, curling into a ball and shaking.

He licked his lips and yanked his shirt up over his head. She rolled to her back and eyed him standing over her.

"Please…" she whimpered, reaching a hand out to him.

He yanked his pyjamas down and stroked his cock with his hand while she watched. She licked her lips, her red lipstick was smudged and her forehead was glistening with sweat but she looked so sexy; he needed her.

Ron walked around to the other side of the bed where Hermione pushed herself up on her pillow. He climbed up on top of her and she spread her legs.

"I love you, Mione…" He kissed her and sucked her tongue into his mouth while he entered her. Her nails dug into his shoulders and he felt her hips meet his. She kissed every bit of his skin that she could reach. Ron lowered his mouth to her neck and sucked on it, leaving wet marks. Her breathy moans echoed in his ear.

It happened so fast, they didn't know what was going on until it was over.

"That wasn't it, Jamie. Keep quiet, maybe they're in the bedroom. Keep quiet!" Fred said pushing the door open. He was looking over his shoulder while he spoke to his younger cousins, but when Louis and James started hollering, Fred looked too.

Hermione screamed and Ron almost fell off the bed.

"Fucking shit! Get OUT!" Ron yelled trying to cover himself and Hermione. The three boys stood frozen in the doorway. Hermione pulled the bedsheet over her head, Ron used her pillow to cover his privates as he rushed over and shut the door.

He was panting and held himself upright by wedging his back against the door. He heard Ginny and Harry in the hallway.

"This cannot possibly be real! Louis and Fred we are Flooing your parents right this second!" Ginny was yelling.

"James, what the hell! Get your backside down those stairs this second." Harry said sternly.

Ron softly banged the back of his head against the door when he heard the younger children's voices in the hallway. He covered his red face with his hands.

"Mummy? What's going on?" Albus said.

"Is it the clown?!" Rose cried with alarm.

"Daaaddy!?" Hugo called.

Exhaling deeply, Ron stomped across to the bed and pulled on his pyjama bottoms. Hermione was still hiding under the covers.

"Mione?" He pulled the sheets back.

"I do not want to go out there." She said.

"Muuuummy!" Rose called.

Hermione moaned and got up off the bed. Ron handed her a robe and she went into a drawer for pyjamas. They heard Harry knocking.

"Guys? I'm really sorry." He said. Ron opened the door and shared a very awkward silence with him.

"How bad?" Harry finally said. Ron glared at him just for asking. "Hey, one of them is my kid – trust me I'm going to handle it."

"Don't send the boys home." Hermione said. Harry and Ron looked at her incredulously. "Well, do you want to explain what they saw? I bloody well don't!"

"Fuck. I don't know how to tell my brothers that." Ron said, realizing.

"Ron, what is that?" Harry suddenly said with concern. He touched a red mark on Ron's shoulder and it rubbed off on his thumb.

Ron blushed all over, effectively hiding most of the additional red marks. Harry looked from his thumb to Hermione's smeared lipstick and closed his eyes. He sighed, embarrassed.

"Right. Fuck. Sorry." He said wiping his hand on his pyjamas.

"Mummy?"

Harry turned and saw Rose in the hall, just outside her room.

"Everything's fine, Rosie." Harry said, soothingly.

Ginny was in Hugo's room, getting him and Lily settled back into bed.

"Be right there, Rose." Hermione called. She tried to cool her cheeks down with her hands before she went to Rose's room.

"Hermione – erm…" Harry gestured to his t-shirt and Hermione looked down. Her robe was partially open, her black lingerie exposed. Ron groaned and glared at Harry, who averted his eyes.

Fred, James and Louis sat upright next to each other in the tent Ron had set up for them. They hadn't spoken much since they walked into the master bedroom.

"What were they doing?" James whispered.

Neither Fred nor Louis knew what it was called, but they knew they shouldn't have seen it.

They heard the footsteps descending the stairs and individually accepted their fates. Harry and Ron (who by then was wearing a shirt to cover the lipstick stains on his chest and shoulders) looked serious and very angry as they crossed over to them.

Harry spoke first.

"What the devil where you three doing in your Aunt and Uncle's bedroom?"

Ron crossed his arms over his chest, finding it difficult to look at his nephews. The boys couldn't look at him, either and none of them answered Harry.

"Come on, then. Out with it." Ron said, trying not to yell.

"Chocolate Frogs. We were looking for Uncle Ron's lifetime supply." Fred sighed. Harry and Ron looked at each other.

"Are you joking?" Harry asked. The boys shook their heads.

"Well you certainly found more than you bargained for, didn't you?" Ron said.

"Rosie?" Hermione entered Rose's room to find her daughter sitting up in bed, clutching her stuffed animal. Albus was sitting up next to her, dozing.

"Mummy, why did you scream?" Rose asked with fear in her eyes. Hermione made every effort to never lie to her children but this was one time she just could not tell the truth.

"I had a bad dream, darling." She said patting Rose's hair. "Come on you two, lay down." The children scooted down under the sheets.

"Do you want Jackie-dog?" Rose offered the toy to Hermione.

"No, baby girl. You keep him. Mummy has Daddy with her, remember?" Hermione smiled.

"Aunt Hermione?" Albus said.

"Yes?"

"Let my Daddy tell you a bedtime story. You won't have a bad dream again."

She smiled and kissed them both on the foreheads.

"Go back to sleep, everything is ok." She said quietly.

Hermione pulled the door shut just as Ginny was leaving Hugo's room.

"I don't know what to say. I am so, _so_ sorry." Ginny said, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

"I don't know if there's much of anything to say, Gin." Hermione said. She felt the belt of her robe start to loosen. Sighing, she untied it, closed her robe again and tightened the belt.

"Cute camisole." Ginny said, giggling. Hermione found herself smirking and it turned into a chuckle.

"Thanks."

"Ron likes black. Harry prefers me in pink." Ginny said. Hermione looked up and Ginny lifted the hem of the long t-shirt she was wearing. Hermione saw traces of a pink satin nightie and the girls shared a laugh.

"It was going to be us or you getting walked in on." Ginny joked. "I can't believe how pervy boys are. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry!"

Hermione hugged her and they headed down the stairs. They found Ron and Harry sitting on the floor with the boys.

"How many times have you been told not to snoop?" Ginny said sternly. All of them (Ron and Harry included) jumped at the sound of her voice. "How many times, James? Fred, Louis - I don't even know what to do with you!" She continued.

"We're sorry." Louis said, looking down.

"It was _my_ idea to look for the Chocolate Frogs." Fred admitted.

"Never a doubt in my mind." Harry said.

"Chocolate Frogs? Oh holy mother of Merlin – _really_?" Ginny yelped.

"We're not going to tell your parents tonight, boys." Hermione told Fred and Louis. "But Uncle Ron is going to talk to your fathers tomorrow. Stay down here. Go to sleep."

"Jamie, I believe you have something to say to your Aunt and Uncle." Harry said.

James stood and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Alright. Let's go back to bed. I don't want to see you three until the morning, understood?" Ron said, standing. The boys nodded at him and got settled back on the floor.

Harry, Ginny and Hermione started up the stairs and Ron was walking out of the living room.

"Uncle Ron?" Fred said. Ron turned and saw his nephew standing right behind him. He bent down to be face to face with him.

"Yeah, Freddy?"

"I don't know why you and Aunt Hermione were wrestling, but I think you were winning." He said.

Ron's eyes widened. He thought he saw the glimmer of a joke in Fred's eye but he couldn't let himself laugh.

"Never mind what you saw – that's, erm – adult stuff. Go to bed or I'll Floo your dad." Ron said, he couldn't resist giving him a wink.

Hermione was curled up in bed when he got back upstairs. He closed the door behind him and sighed heavily.

"That was interesting." He said as he pulled his shirt off.

"I don't even want to talk about it." She said without looking up.

"Fred thought we were wrestling."

Hermione lifted herself up on one elbow and looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"He said I was winning." Ron grinned.


	6. Minerva Alastor

**I'm trying to switch the narrative up a bit with this chapter. Please review – let me know if it's too difficult to follow, I fix it!**

**Thanks!**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

The rest of the night passed without incident and the house was quiet and still when Hermione opened her eyes. She was still wearing the black camisole, but at some point during the night she must have been hot because she had pulled off the pyjama bottoms and tossed them to the floor.

She stretched her arms above her head and yawned quietly. Ron was sleeping on his back, one arm above his head. She was about to cuddle into his chest when a thought crossed her mind. It had been a long time since she'd woken him up in that special way. The mood was completely ruined after the boys interrupted them so once the embarrassment faded away, they just went to sleep.

She licked her lips before ducking her head under the covers. Ron might have been sleeping, but as soon as Hermione took him in her mouth his body started responding to her touch. She felt him get harder as she stroked and kissed him. Fully erect, he was far too big to fit in her mouth; it made her jaw ache to even try.

Hermione heard Ron moaning and suddenly his hand was in her hair, tugging slightly as his hips lifted off the mattress a little. He gave a grunt and Hermione felt the bedcover lift off her entirely. The temperature of the room was so much cooler without the heavy blanket on top of her and she felt gooseflesh run up her back. Ron then had a handful of her hair and she was trying as best she could to stretch her mouth around him.

"Get the fuck up here." Ron moaned, grabbing at her upper arm. He pulled her up and she swung a leg over him.

"Good Morning, Mr. Weasley." She said as she leaned in and kissed his face. Ron grinned and reached under his pillow, feeling for his wand. He waved it and silently locked the door.

"If I had the presence of mind to do that last night we could have avoided that whole mess. I don't know how I'm going to tell my brothers –" Hermione positioned herself over him and he stopped talking when she pressed her weight down and he was inside her. She moaned softly and he gripped her hips while she rocked gently in his lap.

* * *

"Harry, do you want to shower first?" Ginny said as she got out of bed. Harry was awake but he wasn't in much of a mood to talk. He was staring at the ceiling, both the conversation with Dudley and the awkward talk he knew he was facing with James was keeping him preoccupied.

"Hmm? Oh, no you go ahead, Gin." He said. Ginny frowned.

"You're worried about what Petunia is going to say, aren't you?" She asked.

"A bit. My entire life she's never gone out of her way to talk to me. I can't think what she'd have to say."

"So, don't go. You don't owe her a thing, Harry." Ginny said, crossing her arms.

"I know I don't owe her. But I also know I'll regret not going. I feel like my Mum would want me to go." he said reaching for his mobile. He pulled Dudley's phone number up and typed in a text message:

"When should I come?"

He stared at the words on the screen for a full minute before pressing the 'send' button. He watched the envelope icon on the screen indicate the message was sent before snapping the mobile shut again.

"Ron and Hermione are going to go with you? Do you want me as well?" Ginny asked, sitting on the bed and reaching for his hand.

"I know you don't want to go, it's fine. The boys and Lily wouldn't want to be there, either." Harry said, touching the back of her hand with his. Ginny nodded.

"No, none of us would _want_ to go; that's not what I asked you. If you need me with you, I'll go."

Harry shrugged. "I'll be ok."

The knock was soft at first but became slightly louder before they heard it. "Aunt Ginny? Uncle Harry?" It was Hugo.

Ginny quickly pulled on a pair of pyjamas (she and Harry had no problem getting back into the mood the previous night as they weren't the ones walked in on.)

"Just a tick, Hugo." Harry called out, snatching his boxers off the floor.

He went to the door and opened it. Hugo and Lily stood in the hallway with sleepy eyes.

"Morning, guys. You alright?" Harry said crouching down. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Their door is locked. I want Mummy." Hugo said pointing across the hall at the master bedroom. Harry lifted Lily off the floor and took Hugo's hand.

"Stay in here with your Aunt a minute, Hugo. I'll - erm- see if Mummy's awake." Harry said leading him into the guest room.

Ginny sat back on the bed and pulled Hugo up beside her and Harry playfully plunked Lily next to them. Ginny proceeded to tickle the two of them mercilessly.

Harry padded across the hall and approached the door cautiously. He pressed his ear to the door and listened. He thought he heard Hermione moaning softly and he definitely recognized Ron's gruff voice.

"Love you so fucking much…"

He cleared his throat softly, he knew better than to interrupt. It would be more than his life was worth to knock. He smiled to himself, wondering how the hell Hermione managed to get a handle on her loud orgasms – it was one thing before the kids. He'd spent many nights sleeping off some heavy drinking on their sofa in their old flat and knew exactly what Hermione sounded like. He wasn't trying to listen but it was definitely impossible not to overhear without a silencing charm.

He went back to the guest room and found Ginny was still tickling Hugo and Lily; their delighted squealing made him laugh heartily.

* * *

"Jamie – wake up!" Louis poked James hard in the ribs.

"Leave me alooone! Sleeping!" James said, rolling over.

"Aw, come on Jamie – time to get up!" Fred said, whacking James in the face with a throw pillow.

"Oi! Knock it off!" James said, opening his eyes and sitting up.

"We're hungry." Louis said, rubbing his stomach.

"Mum said we were going to breakfast at Gran's house." James said, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah but it'll be forever before then!" Fred said. "Let's go make ourselves something."

"You know how to cook?" James asked.

"Of course not, but how hard can it be, really?" Fred said, shrugging his shoulders.

* * *

Ron rolled off of Hermione, panting. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, as was his. He glanced at the clock and groaned.

"Shit. It's 7.00, Mione. Breakfast at Mum and Dad's. How the bloody hell are we going to shift four adults and seven kids out of this house in less than an hour?"

Hermione covered her face with her hands and sighed. "I haven't the first idea. I haven't heard a peep out of Hugo, it's odd. He's usually banging on the door by 6.30." She said pushing up on her elbows.

"Well, Lily and the others are here, maybe they're playing already." Ron said pulling his boxers on and standing up.

As if on cue, the bedroom filled with the blaring of the smoke detector.

_Fire in Sector One! Fire in Sector One!_ The electronic voice announced. The new house was equipped with a state-of-the-art burglar alarm and hard-wired smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. This was the first time Ron and Hermione had heard them go off and it made them both yell out.

Ron covered his ears with his hands, "What the fuck is Sector One?" He yelled.

"It's the kitchen!" Hermione yelled back, her hands also covering her ears.

Ron grabbed his wand and Apparated into the kitchen, finding Harry was already there. There was nothing but thick, acrid smoke filling the room. Harry had the windows open and was trying to locate the source of the smoke.

* * *

"Good grief, Hermione. I swear if you never ever want Jamie staying here again I completely understand!" Ginny said. They were both in the guest bedroom with the younger children. Albus and Lily were cowering into her chest and she was covering their ears as best she could. Hermione was cuddling Hugo and Rose was in a ball at her side.

"I won't lie, Gin – it'll be a long while before they stay here again." Hermione answered, rubbing Rose's arm – she hated loud noises.

"Off! Off! _Off!_" Rose yelped and the alarm at once was silenced. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other and together looked down at Rose.

* * *

"I'll kill them myself, where are they!" Ron said, looking around. The alarm had shut off before he'd been able to punch in the key-code. He thought Hermione must have entered it into the alarm panel in the second floor.

"They're cowering in the pantry." Harry replied.

The telephone started ringing and Ron answered after three rings.

"Hello? Yes, this is Ron Weasley. Yes, everything's in hand. My nephews seem to have tried cooking this morning." He said seeing the majority of the smoke was rising off of Hermione's brand new induction cooktop.

"Thank you, we're all set. Password? Oh, erm…fuck. My wife set the password…OH! It's Minerva Alastor. Yeah, our kids' middle names. Thanks very much. You too." He hung up the phone and turned back to the smoky kitchen.

Finding there was in fact no fire, Harry was using his wand to push the awful-smelling smoke out the window. Ron assisted with a wind-conjuring spell to push the gray clouds out of the kitchen. When the haze was gone, they looked at each other.

"Never a dull bloody moment, is there?" Harry said. Ron shook his head. Ron grimaced at the cooktop. A small saute pan sat on top holding two eggs. On the burner next to the saute pan was a partially melted acrylic salt shaker. Ron knew in an instant what had happened, he'd made the same mistake himself. Fred, for it undoubtedly was Fred's doing, had turned on the wrong burner and didn't notice the eggs weren't cooking. He must have used the salt shaker to season the eggs and placed it down on the burner next to the pan.

Ginny Apparated into the kitchen a moment later and made straight for the pantry door. She found the three boys huddled into each other, looked frightened.

"Out." She said, pointing.

They hurriedly scampered out of the pantry, watching Ginny the whole time.

"Sit." She said and they obediently sat on the stools around the center kitchen island.

Ron ran upstairs to check on Hermione and the younger children. He recognized the anger he saw in his sister's eyes. She looked exactly like their mother when she was angry and she yelled in an identical way. Her voice carried through the whole house.

"After last night, how could you even think of doing such a thing?! You could have burnt the house down! You couldn't wait one hour until we're at your grandparents' house?!"

"Mione? They alright?" Ron called into their bedroom.

"We're in here, Ron." She called back. Ron turned and made his way into the guest bedroom. The four children sat on the bed watching a cartoon program. Hermione had pulled some clothes on and was tying her hair back.

"Everyone ok?" Ron asked them, smiling reassuringly.

"Daddy I do not like that noise." Rose said definitively.

"I know, Rosie. Daddy doesn't either." Ron said, lifting his arms out to her. Rose pushed herself off the bed and flew into Ron's arms. He lifted her off the floor and she hugged him tightly around the neck.

"Good thing you had Jackie-dog to protect you, right?" Ron said. He felt Rose shake her head.

"You protected us, Daddy." She said.

They couldn't make out the words, but Ginny's voice was still booming from the kitchen.

"Uh-oh…Mummy's mad." Albus said.

A short time later, they all stumbled out of the fireplace at the Burrow. George, Angelina and Bill all recognized the harried looks on the faces of the four adults when they came through – only people exposed to the antics of the three eldest boys would share that expression.

"Rough night?" George said to Ron.

"Very." Ron replied.

"Do they all need a bollocking?" He asked, Bill listened intently for the answer.

"Ginny gave them one for the crap they pulled this morning but I'll let you deal with them over what they did last night." Ron rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"That doesn't sound good at all." Bill said, looking at Louis. The small boy suddenly took a very keen interest in his shoes.

"I'll fill you in after we eat – is there bacon? I'm starving." Ron asked.


End file.
